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I know myself better than any other and I know that I lack the capacity for truly endearing emotions. I love pain and danger yet I feel incapable of love and innocence. My life is a shadow of anger — I'm drowning in rage and disgust for myself. My entire being is an imposition.Water: an undeniably relaxing element. When I feel it swish against me at the beach, when it knocks me under it's surface with powerful surges and when it falls relentlessly from the sky I feel calm — as if my problems have disappeared if only for the moment. However, I know that my element is it's opposite- FIRE. I connect with the flames of a malevolent fire; I see myself within its intense heat. I feel as if my emotions are a wild flame of insecurities, revenge and self-hatred. It's ironic how I see myself engulfed in darkness and yet I feel as if I connect with the one thing that can bring me light.The darkest night - a blanket of onyx silk shielding us from the problems and responsibilities of the coming. "Yes, Master." Glee replaced the exhaustion and nervousness I felt moments ago. I was a virgin. I wanted to wait for him. I had learned a little bit over the past year, messing around with guys, who meant absolutely nothing to me. Just a cock to stroke, or to suck. All to learn, so when I got to my most amazing Master, I wasn't completely uneducated; where I would be able to be a good cock whore for him. I mean, not to say I didn't get immense pleasure out of everything I had done. I very much enjoyed getting cocks hard, and loved making them cum, swallowing every drop. Cum was like gold to me, I couldn't waste any of it, I'd really never lost any of it, except the one time I let a guy cum on my breasts, which I regretted because, I couldn't taste all of it. The only time, I was going to let cum not be in my throat was when it was deep in my cunt or ass. Possibly when my face was being coated with it. I loved the feelings that tingled throughout my cunt, the wetness I felt. The.
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